About me
My name is Hennie
My name is Hennie Lategan. I am an accredited Family Law Mediator and a qualified Life Coach.
I have an MPhil from the University of Pretoria and I am a member of the International Coaching Federation and the South African Association of Mediators.
My story
I grew up in South Africa, and in 2008, I got the opportunity to work abroad. After spending 11 years abroad, my contract ended, and I had to return home.
Upon return, I decided to do a coaching course through the University of Pretoria, and I found a job that allowed me to work as an internal coach while completing my MPhil degree. Unfortunately, with all the years working abroad and focusing primarily on my career, I lost focus on my marriage and ended up in a divorce. Although my wife and I had our differences, we never stopped loving our children and worked hard to ensure they were not swept up in our emotions. It was during this that I learned about divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation is about de-escalating the conflict between parents in a divorce and keeping the children’s interests in mind. During mediation, emotions and feelings are validated through coaching, assets are divided, maintenance calculations are done, and a parenting plan, a legal document required for minor or dependent children, is implemented.
Studies have shown that children from mediated divorces are less traumatised and adapt twice as fast to their new lives compared to children from litigated divorces. This is because divorce mediation is about helping the parents to make decisions in their children’s best interest.
A litigated divorce, on the other hand, is about escalating the conflict between parents and focusing on their interests and not necessarily the children’s.
I experienced the power of coaching first-hand when I had to deal with retrenchment, divorce, and illness simultaneously, and I experienced the cost-effectiveness and child-focused way of divorce mediation through my own divorce. Helping others go through a divorce, saving on legal fees, having less conflict, and thinking about their children’s interests, is what drives me and gives me energy.
Today, my life is full of blessings, and I love what I do. My retirement dream is to do a PhD one day, but perhaps I’ll settle for grandchildren. 😊
Background
I grew up in South Africa, and in 2008, I got the opportunity to work abroad. After spending 11 years abroad, my contract ended, and my family and I had to return home.
My corporate career had peaked, and because of my business experience and passion for working with people, I decided to become a business coach, combining life coaching with business acumen.
I did a business coaching course through the University of Pretoria’s GIBS campus (certification attached) and started working as an internal business coach for an international company in South Africa.
Divorce mediation
Unfortunately, with all the years working abroad and focusing primarily on my career, I lost focus on my marriage and ended up in a divorce.
I learned about divorce mediation during my divorce. I was immediately interested because it combined life coaching with family law, with a particular focus on the children in a divorce.
My wife and I had our differences, but we tried hard not to involve our children in our divorce.
Studies have shown that children from mediated divorces are much less traumatised and adapt twice as fast to their new lives compared to children from court divorces.
This is because divorce mediation is about de-escalating the conflict between the parties for the sake of their children after the divorce.
Soon after my divorce, I completed a professional mediation course and also became an accredited Family & Divorce Mediator (certification attached).
There is nothing wrong with deciding to divorce. It is part of life, and every person has the right to be happy, even if that means ending a relationship.
Staying married for the sake of the children can sometimes be more harmful to them because they can see their parents no longer love each other.
All children want to be happy and want their parents to be happy, too.
However, they sometimes feel confused and insecure when they see the tension at home and their parents unhappy with each other.
Having separate homes is then better than living with parents who no longer love each other.
Relationship Coaching
I never considered marriage counselling while I was married, and sometimes, I wonder if my marriage could have been saved if we had gone for it.
Because of this nagging thought and my passion for life coaching, I offer relationship coaching to couples who want to improve their relationships.
It is scary to see how many couples divorce and never had any professional help in their relationship. Mine included.
Sometimes, other factors are involved, or the marriage just reached an expiry date, which is also okay.
Marriage counselling will then be a waste of money, and living happy, separate lives is always better than an unhappy marriage.
However, if you have tried to save a marriage and still end up in divorce, you are left with much less blame and self-blame afterwards.
My happiness
I am privileged to apply my coaching skills today to businesspeople, people in relationships, people going through a divorce, or people stuck in life.
Seeing people transition from being confused, unhappy, and sometimes insecure to being confident, happy, and with a new focus in life, is what drives me and gives me energy every day!
Our success
A divorced family does not have to be a broken family.
With divorce mediation, it is possible to have meaningful post-divorce relationships where the ex-spouses can work together peacefully for the sake of their children, even if just for a 30-minute photo shoot.
